There Goes The Neighborhood!

ATTACK THE BLOCK (2011) Director: Joe Cornish Starring: John Boyega, Jodie Whittaker, Nick Frost Rating: R for graphic violence and graphic english.

Far across the sea is a magical place known as England, where people drive on the left side of the road, elevators are called “lifts,” and a young girl named Elizabeth defeated Lord Voldamort to become Queen of all the land!

Sure, Amercans and Englanders have their differences; their football is really soccer and our football is really awesome, but there is  one thing both of us can agree on –  when space aliens invade our turf and run amok, it’s time to kick ass!

Which brings us to Attack The Block. 

On a chilly evening in South London a group of playful cockney urchins dance down a cobblestone street, singing songs about how great it is to be an Orphan picking pockets for Fagin and..

Oh wait, that’s Oliver! My bad.

On a chilly evening in South London a motley group of teens are mugging a young nurse (Jodie Whittaker) when a space alien crash lands right in front of them. The teens promptly kill the weird creature that emerges from the crash sight because none of them ever had a puppy or kitten when they were little.

The leader of the gang Moses (John Boyega) decides to hold onto the alien carcass for a while, hoping to exchange it for boatloads of cash –  because England apparently has some sort of space alien carcass buyback program. I told you things were different over there!

Moses and his pals head back to their apartment building and while chilling in the flat of spaced out pot dealer Ron (Nick Frost), more aliens (who are bigger and badder then the one Moses and his crew killed) crash land in the neighborhood and lay siege to the block looking for a little payback.

With the help of Sam, the nurse they mugged earlier (who bless her heart doesn’t hold a grudge) and some of the other neighbors in the building,  Moses and his gang do battle with the alien invaders, who are covered in jet black fur, have glowing green fangs, and run around on all fours like actors in hot jet black fur covered costumes.

Will Moses and his pals survive? Will their building be overrun by blood thirsty alien monsters? Do English people really eat steak and kidney pie?

Okay, that last question won’t be answered when you watch this movie, but all in all Attack The Block is a pretty decent low budget alien movie with an old school low tech feel and a  few scares here and there.

And best of all, since Attack The Block was made in England, it’s a foreign film, so when that snooty hipster poseur friend of yours asks you if  you watch foreign cinema (he calls movies cinema – extra douche points there) you can say yes and it won’t be a lie!

You’re welcome.